Life is not Promised
by Munanire
Summary: Shinji becomes amnesic after a battleand it seems at just the wrong time. NERV has some plans that seem to directly involve him... that they don't want him to know about.
1. Prolouge

"I'm so afraid."   
  
"We are all Anglophobic."   
  
"Why?"   
  
"It is humans nature."   
  
"But why?"   
  
"You are afraid."   
  
"I know! I just said that."   
  
"You are leading yourself in circles."   
  
"No I am not! I know what I'm doing!"   
  
_Slap!_   
  
I rubbed the side of my pale, freight-stricken face. A red rash shown brightly and I could see it in the reflection of myself as I stared out the large window. My voice lowered to a whisper and I resisted wanting to hang my head. "Why did you slap me?"   
  
The voice that responded was also quiet. A whisper…tinted with fear. Did she share my fear or was she afraid of something else? "You do not know what you're doing."   
  
  
I silent sob racked my body as I let my hand slide down the glass window. A trail of sweat followed my damp palm down the opaque glass. Slowly I lowered my body onto the bench she sat on next to the window. She sat far away from me and her face was not looking my direction, but I still knew she could sense it. I was afraid… so afraid.   
  
"I don't want them all to die…" I said quietly, my voice still just above a whisper. My bottom lip shook as I held back the tears that wanted to flood from my eyes. "I don't want to end up all alone."   
  
She still did not turn to face me. She instead continued to look out the frosted glass window over the city fogged by pollution and the heat of the summer. "They well all die."   
  
"Is there nothing I can do?" I asked, the volume in my voice rising once more. A small sob escaped my lips. "Is there any way I can help them?" I demanded with the voice that a young child being faced with a horrible punishment might have. "Please… tell me how I can help them." I pleaded.   
  
"There is no way you can help." She answered flatly. "They are guaranteed to leave you."   
  
I knew she was right. They would go. There was nothing I could do. And again, I was leading myself in circles… all this pleading… these dreams soon to be lost… this hope that would go in vain. So I decided to say nothing. A deafening silence filled the room and the air became still.   
  
Finally she broke the silence. The way she said those final words, the words that would forever haunt me… they seemed so cold, so uncaring.   
  
"Life is not promised."


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One**   
  
The laughter of happy children filled my head…   
  
_Joy…_   
  
The laughter faded away and was replaced by crying…   
  
_Sorrow…_   
  
The crying died out and screams filled my ears…   
  
_Death…   
_  
And as suddenly as they had begun, the screams stopped. Silence.   
_  
Loneliness…_   
  
"Shinji!" A yell broke my concentration and my eyes slowly came unglued from their sleep. At first my vision was blurred, nearly impossible for me to tell where I was. As my eyes began to focus I could make out only whiteness in front of me. Squinting harder, I tried to figure out what the vast whiteness was.   
  
Then it hit me and I felt foolish for being stupid. _It's a ceiling…an unfamiliar ceiling…_   
  
"Shinji!" The voice called again. I did not recognize the voice, but I felt for some reason that I should have. I attempted to sit up and take a look around only to discover my muscles no longer worked. A stinging pain shot up my spine and down my right arm as the affects of sleep began to wear off. I heard a door open, then footsteps.   
  
The owner of the voice that had been calling what I supposed was my name peered over my face. The owner was female, her brown, almost red, hair falling down around her face in clumps.   
  
"Schiest!" She groaned in my face. "You're still asleep?" She took a step back from my bed. The muscles in my neck finally decided to work and I turned my head to look at her. She stood there with her hands on her hips, scowling at me. "You had better get up right now, Ikari! Or, I swear I'll-" She started to threaten me in German, but I cut in.   
  
"Who…" I muttered and struggled to sit up. "Who are you?" My eyes narrowed, trying to focus better on her and see if I recognized her, but I did not. Again I felt that I should be able to, so it bothered me that I could not.   
  
"Well duh!" She again groaned. She left let her hands fall from her waist. The girl wore a school uniform, which as the rest of this room I was in, looked familiar, yet I did not recognize it. "I'm the other Eva pilot, you idiot. Don't tell me you got hit so hard you don't even remember me!"   
  
I rubbed my head… _It hurts so bad… who am I? Where am I? … Who's this girl?… _"No.." I answered simply, yet reluctantly. "I… don't remember you." I glanced down at my arm to see why it hurt so badly and noticed that it was cased in gauze saturated with blood. "How did I get hurt…" I paused, trying to remember her name… then it came to me. "Asuka?"   
  
She grinned at me. "So you do remember my name, Shinji." Asuka then frowned again. "But you don't remember what happened? Huh. How typical of you, you know, that's just like you." She turned to walk towards the door, throwing her hand out at me with a snort. "I'd mind as well go tell Misato you're awake so she can come praise you for being so 'spectacular'" She said with another snort as she disappeared out of the room.   
  
I continued to look around, my head still throbbing and the pain still stinging through my arm. _I don't remember anything… nothing… what happened? _After looking around, I came to the conclusion that the room I was on belonged to a teenaged boy… probably myself. Though I could not be sure. And then that strange dream… I frowned, wanting to know what was going on.   
  
After a few moments the door burst back open and in stepped a middle aged, blonde haired woman. She wore a pair of glasses and a lab coat; she also held a set of folders close to her chest. Silently she made her way over to me and looked down on my bandages. "Are you feeling better, Shinji?" The woman asked me, setting the stack of folders down on the foot of my bed.   
  
I rubbed me head and tried desperately to keep my eyes from crossing and letting myself pass back out. The woman reached out and took my hand away from my head. "Don't touch your head, Shinji. Let it be… I promise it'll stop hurting sooner if you don't touch it."   
  
I let my hand fall hopelessly down and tried even harder to keep from letting the immense amount of pain cause me to pass out. "Um, yeah, alright…" I turned to look at her, trying to figure out if I remembered her too. Unfortunately, she also looked familiar, yet I could not bring up any memory of her from the depths of my mind. "Who.. Who're you?"   
  
"My name is Ritsuko." She said simply, pulling at thermometer out of her coat pocket. "It's only normal for you not to remember anything." She explained with a sigh. "It's kind of unfortunate though. You could have learned a lot from it." Ritsuko leaned forward and stuck the thermometer into my mouth. I didn't bother struggling… she didn't seem like a person who would hurt me.   
  
"I… I guess so." I agreed, still wishing I knew where I was. "Ritsuko…" I began as she pulled the thermometer from my mouth and recorded the results onto a piece of paper in the folder. "Where am I? What happened?"   
  
Ritsuko stuck the thermometer into her pocket again and picked up the folders once more. She began towards the door and waved a hand back at me. "Trust me, Shinji." She responded with another sigh. "It's not something your going to want to remember right now." She turned to look at me from the doorway and her glance met mine. I could not see her eyes though, because of the way the light glared off her glasses. "And you're welcome to come out of your room now." Ritsuko told me, turning and walking out of what I had guessed was my bedroom.   
  
I blinked a few times, trying to take in all that I had just heard. After a few moments of contemplation, I brought myself around and pulled myself up off the bed. Pausing to see what I was wearing, I looked down at myself and discovered I was dressed in a school uniform that looked similar to the one Asuka had worn when she came to give me my wake up call. Slowly I made my way over to the door of my room and slid it open.   
  
Looking out into the hallway, I was greeted by quite a strange site. "Gah!" I yelled in surprise, jumping back. In front of me stood a penguin I didn't ever remember seeing before. Around it's neck it wore a plate with "Pen2" printed on the front of it. Again I blinked a few times. "Pen Pen?" I asked.   
  
The penguin simply quaked and waddled past me, towards the room furthest down the short hallway. Walking all the way out into the hall I looked down the end opposite of the penguin noticed that it opened up into what looked like a kitchen. Quietly as I could, I slipped down the hall and into the kitchen area.   
  
"Shinji!"   
  
What sounded like a crowd of people called out my name in unison. I twitched and turned slowly, ever so slowly, to look at the people. Crowded around the table was a purple haired woman in a major's suit, two boys in school uniforms that looked identical to mine, the red haired girl, Asuka, that I had seen earlier, Ritsuko, a brown haired girl in a school uniform like Asuka's, and a pale blue haired girl I didn't recognize. The blue haired girl and Asuka seemed to be the only one's who had not yelled, though Ritsuko looked relatively calm.   
  
"Shinji, man, 'ow are ya?" One of the two boys demanded, walking up and clamping a hand down on my shoulder.   
  
"Yeah!" The other boy agreed running over and grinning at me. "We where worried about you!"   
  
"Oh, Shinji!" The purple haired woman yelled happily, looking as though she was just about ready to burst into tears, "Your still alive…"   
  
Ritsuko straightened her glasses and nodded at me. "Good to see you up and out of bed for once."   
  
The blue haired girl wore an emotionless expression on her face and spoke quietly. "Hello, Ikari."   
  
Asuka stood with her arms crossed next to the brown haired girl, neither of which said anything.   
  
"Um…" Shinji stuttered, backing away from all of them, tensing his muscles, ready to run if they jumped at him again like that. "Just who are all you people?"   
  
One of the two boys turn to Ritsuko and frowned. "Shinji lost his memory?"   
  
She nodded. "I'm afraid so."   
  
"In that case…" The boy continued, turning to face me again. "I'm Kensuke…" He pointed to the boy standing next to him. "Toji," then to the brown haired girl, "Hikari, the class rep," to the purple haired woman, "Misato." Then the blue haired girl, "And … Rei."   
  
I brought my hand up to rub my head, but Ritsuko waved a finger at me and I quickly brought it back down. "I don't know how I'll ever remember all of this…" He groaned.   
  
"Well," Began Ritsuko. "You should get your memory back soon enough… wether you want it back or not." She then turned towards the door, Rei close behind her. "We're going to go now… important things to take care of.   
  
"Yeah…" Hikari chirped up. "I had better get going." She turned and waved at Asuka, "Bye." Then grabbed Toji by the arm and disappeared out the door.   
  
Misato joined Ritsuko and Rei at the door. "Business matters… I'll be out late." She told the three remaining kids, disappearing out the door with the others.   
  
Kensuke waved Asuka and I (who flinched) and grinned, "Looks like you two are alone for the night!" And disappeared out the door as well.   
  
We stood for a few minutes, both of us contemplating over what the other should do next. Finally I turned to look at Asuka just as a smile spread across her face. I took this as a very bad sign, though I still did not remember her very well.   
  
"Eek?"   
  
Asuka frowned back at me, batting her eyelids and obviously attempting to look innocent. "Don't you eek me, Shinji Ikari. I would never do anything naughty or mean or something like that…" She insisted, turning and throwing her arm over her shoulder so she faced away from me. Her dark blue skirt swished dryly with her movements as she did so.   
  
It was yet another one of those moments that I really wished I had my memory. Something in the back of my mind vaguely tells me I don't want to get near Asuka or have anything to do with her… I frowned and bit my lip. It was very frustrating to have at least three consciousnesses instead of a normal one. Something told me I needed to fear her and hate her, another thing told to look up to her and respect her. But another voice in my head screeched "beautiful" all over. Something inside me forced and unconvinced laugh.   
  
Asuka spun on her heels to glare at me. "What, you think I would do something disgusting and naughty?" She asked, giving me what looked like a rather puzzled look. She flipped a lock of hair out of her face and behind her shoulder and laughed at me. "Your such a stupid boy, Shinji!" She told me, turning back away to walk down the hall. After a moment, thought, she paused and turned to look over her shoulder at me. "I wouldn't do anything like that… not with you, Shinji!" She laughed that horrible I'm-a-bitch-and-I-know-it laugh at me as she turned away once more and disappeared down the hall and into her room.   
  
I felt a frown creep over my face as I watched her disappear into the room she had claimed as hers. _It depresses me to see her act like that…_ I realized. _But why?…_ I don't remember her…therefore I barely even know her…I bit my lip, again in frustration as I turned to look at the kitchen. It was a small kitchen, a table placed in the middle, but I supposed it had down well for this small 'family' of three. I pulled out a chair and sat in it, my elbows on the table (the mocking voice of someone in my head saying "Don't put your elbows on the table, Shinji!"), my palms supporting my chin. A felt something warm tinkle down my chin and I brought my hand up to wipe it away.   
  
Looking back down at the finger, which had brushed whatever was on my chin, I realized I was bleeding from the lip. _You bit your lip to hard… _I released the pressure in my lip and sucked back the remaining blood with somewhat of a flinch. I really wished I had known what happened… why I couldn't remember anything. _A battle, Shinji…_ That little voice in the back of my head whispered. _Hadn't Ritsuko said something about a battle… but what kind of battle? _That was exactly what I wanted to know…   
  
_Then there's that other girl…_ A mental image of the girl with the blue hair and deep red eyes called Rei flashed across my mind's eye. _She seems so familiar. There must be a reason why she does… yet I can't quite place my finger on it…_I sighed and stood up from the table. Pausing for a moment to think about what I should do next, I decided just to go back to my room and lie in bed for a while. Silently I pushed my chair in and began back down the hallway.   
  
Shortly I had reached my room and slid the oriental style door open, shutting it quietly behind me. Stepping into the room I took a good look around it. It was dark and dimly litten by a single light bulb, but other than that it looked pretty simple. Just a normal room. I padded softly across the thin, cheap carpeting and pulled back the comforter on my bed, only to be greeted with a surprise.   
  
Blood.   
  
Lots of it.   
  
It drenched the sheets and the comforter as well as the pillow. Disgusted, I immeaditly threw the comforter back over the bed and turned away. My first impulse was to think I had somehow ended up on the scene of a horror movie, but I knew that wasn't right. Then, glancing down at the gauze that incased my arm, realization hit me. _That's your blood, Shinji… lot's of your blood._ I knew I must have gotten hurt worse than I thought if I had lost that much blood… _But why didn't they just put me in the hospital? Why keep me here in my room?_ I frowned yet again and began to bite my lip, but quickly pulled back when I remembered how much it hurt from before.   
  
I spotted a folding chair up against the wall and pulled it out, unfolding it with a single, swift movement. I turned the chair so it faced the bed and the single window above it. Staring out the window and into the moonlit night, I began to think about. But soon my thinking was cut short by a strange sound that I didn't quite recognize. Crying.   
  
Slowly I got up off the chair and slipped towards the door. I placed my hand on the sliding paper door and slid it open inch, by inch, trying not to disturb whoever might be out in the rest of the house, crying.   
  
Standing in the hallway I could clearly tell that it was coming from Asuka's room, which was logical since she was the only other person in the house. I made my way over to her door where I stood for a good while, just listening to her sobbing. I felt so bad for her… she hadn't seemed sad at all when I had spoken to her just recently. So what could be wrong?   
  
After at least twenty minutes I was getting ready to slide the door open and ask if I could be of help, but something broke my train of thought.   
_  
"Ring, ring!"_   
_  
Telephone._   
  
I could hear Asuka take a deep breath and swallow down more sobs as she reached for the receiver. I supposed she probably had a telephone with her in the room.   
  
_"Ring, ring!"_   
  
"Hello?"   
  
It was silent for a while as Asuka listened to the person on the other line and I had no idea what was going on.   
  
"A … child?"   
  
Silence again… muffled voices.   
  
"They… they can't. Why would they want a child?"   
  
…   
  
"Are they…" I heard her swallow down another sob and something told me that was a rare thing for her to cry half-openly. "Are they going to kill it in an experiment also….?"   
  
…   
  
"Probably?! How can you sound so fucking calm?!"   
  
Silence for a few more minutes while something was explained…   
  
Asuka's voice had died down again, no longer yelling in surprise. "But… if they need a child of two Eva pilots…" She trailed off into the stillness of the night.   
  
…   
  
"There…" Asuka stuttered, almost as though afraid to say what was coming next. "There's only one male Eva pilot though…"   
  
…   
  
"It's… either me… me…" I could hear her flinch in disgust. "Me or wonder woman… one of us is going.."   
She trailed off again.   
  
Muffled voices…   
  
"…Going to have a child."   
  
Thump.   
  
She had dropped the telephone, which evidently had been hung up on the other line.   
  
"A child." She repeated.


	3. Chapter Two

An older man sat behind the desk, his hands folded together and supporting his chin. The room he sat in was dimly lit by a single light bulb that hung down above his head. The room was bare - the air still and bitter.   
  
Creaking… a door could be heard quietly opening. Soft footsteps made their way over towards the man and his desk.   
  
"Commander Ikari?"   
  
"Do you have it?"   
  
"Sir, it is here. I have it."   
  
"Bring it to me."   
  
The taller and slimmer of the two men made his way over to the desk and set down a stack of papers. He said nothing; instead, the man behind the desk spoke.   
  
"Good. You may go now."   
  
Still the taller man said nothing. Silently he turned and exited the room.   
  
The man behind the desk took the stack of papers in his hands and stared down at them longingly. "Finally, it is here…" He whispered into the still, dark silence, "All of it is here…"   
  
---------------------   
  
"So wonder woman ain't here, eh?" Asuka demanded, peeking into threw the door and into our classroom.   
  
I had not told Asuka that I had heard her conversation the night before, because I was afraid of what she might say… I gulped at the thought or what she might DO… "She isn't?" I asked groping at the door handle.   
  
"Of course she's not!" She hissed back at me. Narrowing her eyes Asuka continued to glare into the full classroom, "She's probably off doing some wondrous experiment to save the world, "She said sarcastically, throwing her arms up in the air to add feeling to her already over dramatic performance. Again she narrowed her eyes and lowered her voice. "As usual."   
  
Slightly lost as to why we had not gone into the classroom yet, I tapped Asuka on the shoulder to get her attention. "Why aren't we going inside?"   
  
"Because!" She insisted as thought it should be the most obvious thing in the world. "We are very late!.." She trailed off. Rolling slightly sideways and pressing her body against the wall right outside the classroom door. "We'll just stay here until.." She trailed off again as the bell rang out above our heads, then with a grin she finished, "…the bell rings."   
  
Students began to file out of the classroom and as they did, Asuka waved and slipped in behind Hikari, disappearing down the hallway and into the mass of student bodies. As Toji and Kensuke came from the room, one behind another, Kensuke pulled me into the line behind them. Confused and still not remembering much, I went along behind the two of them.   
  
As soon as we had reached a less crowded area, Kensuke turned to me with a slightly worried looking face. "Where've you been?" He demanded, looking as thought he might jump on me and kiss me at any moment. Before I could answer, Toji jumped in as well. "Yeah! Were ya been?!"   
  
As the two anticipated my answer they began closing in on me, forcing me into a corner where it was quite hard for me to breathe. "Get away…" I muttered, not really feeling like I had enough energy to yell and push them away.   
  
Kensuke backed off giving me some room to breathe and drug Toji with him. "Come on…" He pleaded putting on his most innocent looking face, "Please tell us! You know you can trust us… we're your friends, Shinji!"   
  
I hung my head and struggled to catch my breath. "I wasn't doing anything!" I told them… and it was the truth. What could these two possibly be so excited about? I bit my lip and tried to ignore the continuous pleading. _That girl… Rei… was that who Asuka meant by 'wonder woman'?   
_  
Suddenly a hand smack me upside the head brought me back to reality, knocking my senses back into my head. "Shinji!" Toji screamed in my ear, nearly deafening me and making me quite surprised that I could still hear when Kensuke began talking.   
  
"We you know where someplace, Shinji." Kensuke began, pushing the bridge of his glasses further up onto his nose. "You never come to school late without some kind of reason…" He paused, momentarily lost in snickers, "Unless of course you and Asuka where busy…"   
  
"What?!" I demanded, shoving him back from me. "No, no! Nothing like that…" I insisted, beginning to lower my voice again. "Neither of us felt very well so we slept in a little late and, um, missed school…" I explained. I hoped they would both be able to tell it was the truth. And it was the truth; thought a vaguely returning part of my memory was telling me that they would never believe it.   
  
"Sha." Muttered Toji, turning to look down into the now emptying hallway. "We believe 'ya."   
  
"Hey!" Kensuke suddenly yelled, whipping his camcorder from seemingly nowhere, hitting the on button, and flipping the cap off of it. "It's Misato!"   
  
Toji spun on his heels to stare gawking at the Major as she made her way down the hallway. Grinning broadly, he waved in her face as she made her way over in front of Shinji. Of course, she ignored him.   
  
"Shinji." She began, pushing Kensuke's camera away from her face, "You need to come with me… now."   
  
I could see the worry resting in her eyes and after the incident the night before; I was beginning to wonder about what was going on. _I hope it's not something really bad…_ something in the back of my head told me I should be worried… very worried… "Misato." I began, still mostly lost in thought. "What's wrong with you? Where's Rei?" I lowered my voice, slightly concerned that Toji or Kensuke would try to but in. "What's going on?"   
  
"Nothing that I can explain right here, Shinji." Misato answered quietly, gesturing towards Kensuke and Toji. I nodded. She then turned and began talking down the hallway away from us.   
  
I started to follow her obediently, but Kensuke pulled me back. By the look in his eyes I could tell her knew something was going on. He shoved his camcorder into my hands and grinned. "I know your going to have to keep your mouth shut, but I'd like to know what's going on." He said as he forced me to take the camera I was trying to give back, "So here, tape it or something."   
  
"Shinij! Come on! We have to go now." Misato was calling.   
  
Reluctantly I shoved the camera into my bag and jogged to join Misato as Kensuke and Toji waved idiotically at my back.   
  
--------------------   
  
"What's this all about?" Asuka demanded as she slammed one of the doors in the locker room and glanced over at Ritsuko. "Why do they want a child? What're they going to do with it? And why did you tell me this? Why not Shinji?"   
  
"Because." Ritsuko answered simply. "Shinji can't know about this."   
  
"Why not?!" Asuka yelled, throwing her arms up into the air, "He's got to be the father! If anyone should know, it's him!"   
  
Ritsuko gave Asuka a look of pure despise, as though she where the most lowly thing on Earth. "That is exactly the reason why he cannot know."   
  
--------------------   
  
I placed my hand on the door of the locker room as I heard crashes that sounded suspiciously like something being thrown at the door. I winced and took a step back from the door, not quite sure I really wanted to go inside.   
  
"Don't." A familiar voice warned as a strong hand clamped down on my shoulder. I spun on my heels to come face to face with a man that I immeaditly recognized as being called Kaji. _Oh… so my memory is getting better…_ "Ritsuko and Asuka are in there talking." He told me with a laugh, "I'm not quite sure you'll want to go in there." Kaji told me, turning and beginning again on his way down the hall. "In fact, I'm not quite sure why you're here, Shinji, you'd mine as well go home." He finished, disappearing around a corner.   
  
I let my hand fall from the doorknob and turned to look after Kaji. _But if I'm not supposed to be here… then why did Misato bring me? And where are Asuka and Rei?_ An idea suddenly popped into my mind and I was surprised at even my own thoughts. Slowly and somewhat reluctantly I reached into my bag and pulled out the camcorder that Kensuke had forced me to take.   
  
I flipped off the cap and hit the on switch. Facing the camera I nearly lost my voice in nervousness, but I managed to speak. "Oi, Kensuke, I know this doesn't seem like me," I paused, trying to decide what to say, "But I'm going to be finding out some things I'm probably not supposed to know, so I've decided to take you along for the ride.   
  
--------------------   
  
"They want to do what?!"   
  
…Muffled voices…   
  
Misato stood in the dark hallway somewhere deep within NERV HQ. Her face was pale, her palms damp with perspiration. "But they can't! Why would they want to do that?"   
  
…More voices…   
  
"Resurrect," She whispered, her voice becoming raspy. Clunk… the cellular phone in her hand slipped from her damp palm and landed on the metal plating of the hallway's floor. Her eyes grew wide and her face paler than before. "No…" She muttered helplessly. "No… they can't…"   
  
---------------------   
  
"Okay." I muttered into the camera's small speaker. "I've been following Kaji and am now waiting for the -" _Click…_ My speech was cut short as the elevator doors opened behind me. "Elevator."   
  
I stepped backwards and ran straight into someone. Turning around I found myself staring straight into a familiar pair of strangely colored red eyes. Rei. "Rei…" I murmured, stepping back from her.   
  
She said nothing. Instead she stepped past me, avoiding my gaze and disappearing into the maze of hallways. _Ting…_ The doors had closed and I could feel the elevator descending under me.   
  
I sighed as I fumbled with the video camera, struggling to turn it away from my face and situate it how it was supposed to be. Seconds later, the doors to the elevator had opened and I was faced with a vast, dark corridor. A large door stood at the end and a strange glow emitted from under the door. Stepping softly, I exited the elevator and made my way down the hallway, towards the door.   
  
Reaching the door, I noticed that it was open just a crack. Not enough for me to really see anything, but enough for me to stick the head of the camcorder inside and for it to go unnoticed.   
  
I heard voices and muffled moving around and I waited about twenty minutes until they died down. Slowly I pulled the camcorder back out and stood with my back pressed against the wall of the hallway. I flipped out the camera's playback screen.   
  
My eyes widened as I watched the colored shapes and figures flash by the screen and listened to the muffled voices of many people. The images I saw and the things I heard caused my hands to sweat and my face to go pale. I struggled to hold the camera and keep from dropping it as I whispered to myself. "No…" A short sob escaped my throat and struggled to hold back more. "No, it can't be true…"   
  
---   
  
  
"Kesuke!" Toji hissed, his voice echoing down the vast hallway that he and his friend stood in. "Ya 'e shouldn't be in 'ere an you know it!"   
  
"Shut up!" Kensuke hissed back. "If they find us here…" He trailed off, not really wanting to think about the consequences of their actions. "Well, you know what'll happen."   
  
"'Course I do." Toji whispered, careful not to let his voice rise. If anyone found them wondering around NERV … they where sure never to see the light again of day again, at the very least. "I ain't stupid, ya know."   
  
Kensuke muttered something inaudible and Toji narrowed his eyes in return. "Well whatever." He said, louder this time. "Let's just find Shinji and tell him what we found out…." He trailed off again, continuing to grope through the darkness.   
  
He suddenly banged his head on a low hanging bar and a hollow noise resounded throughout the hall. "Yeowch!" He yelled, jumping backwards and holding his forehead. "Ow, damnit…" Kensuke muttered,   
  
"Come on." He said, turning back around. "Let's get out of here… we'll warn him later…"   
-------   
  
Green…   
  
Green… It was all around me…   
  
Surrounding me, engulfing me.   
  
My eyes began to focus better and I could tell what it was. Trees… They where all around me, as far as I could see. Franticly I turned, looking for a way out of the mass of green, but there was none. Suffocating me… _I feel suffocated…_ I had to get out… I had to.   
  
As though I was running from death itself, I sprinted through the forest, twigs snapping back and scratching my face, branches flying out and bruising my arms, but still I pressed on. After what seemed like an eternity of running, I finally broke out of the strange forest and all at once light flooded my eyes, momentarily blinding me.   
  
I could feel the ground slipping out from under me, becoming stale under my feet. As I was re-granted my vision, I could see huge dunes of endless sand reaching out in front of me. _The light…_ I realized then, just how hot and bright it was. _It hurts…_ in panic; I turned trying to once again find the shade of the forest I had been in… _Gone…_ it was no longer there.   
  
Slowly I groped forward through the blinding lightness, trying to find my way across the endless dunes. As I reached the edge of the dune I had appeared on, I tried to stop moving, but I continued to slide forward. Down the dune I slid, the sand flying up around me as I gained momentum and neared the bottom. I prepared myself for the end of my ride down the dune, but much to my despise I kept going even after I reached the bottom.   
  
The sand at the bottom of the dune seemed to open up into a pit of blackness. I opened my mouth and tried to scream, but was unsuccessful as the sand continued to fly up into my eyes and mouth, engulfing me and making it impossible to see. And then as suddenly as it had all started… it stopped.   
  
Darkness.   
  
The sand was gone and darkness now surrounded me. I tried to swing my head quickly around to get a better look at where I was, but my head moved slowly as though everything had come into slow motion. _It's cold… so cold…_ I tried to bring my arms around me to hold and warm myself, but I was unable. Out of nowhere, shots of pain tingled up and down my nerves. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. The sand I had swallowed back on the dune flew out of my mouth and became suspended in mid-air.   
_  
Where am I?!_ I tried again to scream, but still could not. It was so frustrating… so impossible. _I don't remember what happened.. how'd I get into a forest? I… I… remember… walking down a hallway… and … there was a door then…_ I tried to shake my head again in frustration, but was reminded of the fact I could not. _Gah! I don't remember! I don't remember! Someone... someone… someone please help me… where am I? _  
  
Then almost instantly, again momentarily blinding me, was a flash of light. It filled my eyes and swept over the empty darkness, warming me and giving me a since of existence. My eyes began to slit open so they could look out and try to figure out where I was, but as soon as they had opened, it was dark again. Cold again. But I could move. I brought my arms up around me to warm myself and was enlightened upon the fact that I was not clothed.   
  
I did not care. _As long as I can move…as long as I'm still alive, still here._ But I was panicking. _Why? What should I panic for?_ My breath came out short and raspy, clouding into mist in front of me. Eventually my insides became so chilled, like the air around me, that my breath no longer produced mist. Then I noticed something. The mist was stopping just short of my face, as if held back by a barrier. I reached my hand out and immeaditly it struck a cold, smooth surface.   
  
I ran my hand down the smooth surface and a slight ray of hope began to come back into me as the friction between the two surfaces warmed my hand. _Warmth… warmth…_ I continued to run my hand down the glass, the hope inside me beginning to build. _Warmth… it… it's warm! It's warm! I'm going to live!_ I wouldn't freeze to death!   
  
---------------------------------   
  
Asuka made her way down the hallway, kicking at the floor as she went. She wore her plug suit, Ritsuko had demanded she do so and her hair was clipped up as it usually was. She flipped her hair out of her face and muttered. "So they're going to resurrect one?" She asked, turning to the Misato whom stood beside her in the hallway.   
  
Misato stopped walking, clutching the stack of papers she carried closer to her chest, then leaned on the wall for support. "Yes." She answered, her voice beginning to fade from its usual cheeriness, "You could put it that way… I…" She choked, as though holding back a sob. "I suppose you could put it that way."   
  
But why is she crying? Asuka wondered. If they do… it's not like it'll really affect her more than anyone else. If she has a right to be bawling, so do I. She too stopped in the hallway and stood behind the major. "What do you mean 'put it that way'?" She demanded. "Do you mean there's another way you would refer to it… like it actually has some sort of real purpose?"   
  
"Can I begin from the beginning?" Misato asked, pulling the papers up by her face almost as though she was trying to hide her face from Asuka. "That way you might... understand a little better?"   
  
Asuka nodded. "Well of course, you can try. I'm not going to stop you." She glanced down both lengths of the hallway they stood in, unable to see the ends because they where clouded by darkness. "No one else is here… it's not like you could get in trouble by telling me, right?"   
  
"That's right…" Misato sighed. "If I get in trouble, the worst they can do is kill me, isn't it?" Asuka knew Misato asked this question more of to herself, rather than to be answered by her. But was that really the worst they could do? They seemed capable of so much more. Asuka nodded as a signal for the Major to go on, and so she did. "Remember when… when we thought… all the angels where gone?… That we had all of them down?"   
  
Again Asuka simply nodded. This much she had already known.   
  
"Then we where so surprised… so shocked… when that other… thing… came out of no where." Misato continued. She paused a moment, apparently thinking, and Asuka could see her biting her lip in frustration. "That thing… everyone thought it was another Angel… so we attacked, tried to kill it. It wasn't an Angel, Asuka... it was…" She trailed off, almost as though not wanting to say what the monster that had attacked NERV had been.   
  
Asuka pulled the papers down out of Misato's face so she could better read her emotions. "Tell me, Misato." She demanded, the volume in her voice growing. "I have a right to know. You tell me what it is."   
  
"Something else…" Misato muttered, turning to look away from Asuka.   
  
"You…" The anger in Asuka's voice began to fade and she stepped back from Misato. "You don't know what it was?"   
  
Misato shook her head and went on. "They know it's more powerful than the Angels where though, that's how it was able to so easily defeat Shinji before we where able to beat it into submission." The two clips on the collar of her coat glinted slightly in the small amount of light as she shifted position. "The ones that will supposedly come after it… they'll be more powerful." She swallowed down what Asuka thought might be another sob. "There's no way we can defeat them. We can't even really try."   
  
"What?!" Asuka demanded, moving forward in on the Major again. "There's no way that can be true! I know damn good and well those creeps running this place are able to outcome the odds in almost any situation, they've done it so many times before. Aren't the going to do something about this?!"   
  
Misato pushed Asuka back, giving herself room to breathe. "Of course they're going to do something. That's where everything comes together… the child… the resurrection…"   
  
"Are they?" Asuka asked, eyeing Misato suspiciously. "It doesn't seem to fit together to me. An off spring of two Eva pilots and a resurrection linked to stopping these … whatever they are." She took another step back and let out a short sigh. "It just doesn't make any sense!"   
  
"Of course it does," Misato insisted. "You see… they where going to-"   
  
"Major! Asuka!"   
  
Both of the females turned to stare down the hallway at the figures running towards them. Asuka immeaditly recognized them. "Kensuke!" She hollered out in a ear-ringing screech. "Toji! What the hell are you two doing here?! Hurenshon… Kennusch de wayne…" She muttered, turning back to Misato. "Who let them in?!"   
  
--------------------------   
  
The warmth still surrounding me, I had become a very happy person. No longer bothering to get out of what was apparently a tube that I had been locked in, I stood passively. But suddenly something directly outside of the glass in the tube, which had again frosted over, caught my eye. Quickly I brought my hand up and wiped the frost away from the glass. A green haired toddler stood directly outside the tube, holding a torn and faded teddy bear in her arms. A huge smile spread across her face.   
  
"Daddy! Daddy is awake!"


End file.
